Richard Rossi

A Gift Buying Guide for Web Marketers or “You’ll put your eye out with that!”

Est. Reading Time: 3 minutes

I can trace it all the way back to when I was twelve. I asked for watercolors and a harmonica for Christmas and instead, I got a chain saw. No kiddin’. One would have thought that, given the fallout from the previous Christmas, my folks would have learned something. For years, my dog had a pronounced limp from that gunshot wound.

“That’s ridiculous! Jealous? Jealous of what?! That is… the ugliest lamp I have ever seen in my entire LIFE!”

Apparently, web marketing folks are difficult to buy for. I have an unopened, industrial sized bottle of Rogaine, camouflage “Get ‘er Done” hat, and lovely Chia-pet fashioned into a decorative table lamp to prove it. Fortunately for you though, I’m here to help.

“Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple-dare-you and going right for the throat!”

I could try to triple-dog-dare clients into buying good gifts, but that hasn’t worked in the past. I think that’s how I got the Chia Pet lamp. So instead, I’m going to offer some helpful suggestions, some do’s and dont’s designed to help you with your holiday shopping.

“Be sure to…drink your… Ovaltine. Ovaltine?! A crummy commercial?! Son of a b****!”

I know web marketers are hard to shop for but – trust me on this one – we do not want anything with your company logo on it or a framed 8×10 glossy of you and your office staff. We love you, really we do. You’re special in our eyes…but not that special. And I trust that I don’t have to remind you – No Chia pets or chainsaws.

“There has never been a kid who didn’t believe that he would be stricken blind before he reached twenty-one, and then they’d be sorry.”

Wanna know what we really want? Your input. Communication is the key to helping a client reach their individual goals. I love to get feedback from clients on what they see as their goals and how we as web marketers can help realize them. No one knows your business better than you. Point us in the right direction and I promise you, you won’t be sorry.

“Deck the Halls with Boughs of Horry, Fa la la la la la la la la. Try again.”

There’s one last Christmas gift I’d like you to consider giving – your commitment. Not all marketing ideas hit a home run the first time out, so trust us if we should whiff at a pitch before we connect. If we fail the first time out, we’ll try again until we hit it out of the park. Promise. Nothing makes us happier than when you’re happy. We’re committed. How ’bout you?

[The paragraph headings above were "borrowed" from a holiday classic, "A Christmas Story", created and narrated by Jean Shepherd]